RoTea

I had dreamed of opening RoTea for as long as I could remember. I didn't always know I wanted to be a baker. I didn't always know that my calling was opening a cool hang out place for people to enjoy fabulous tea as they would munch on my baked goods.

I spent years trying to make it as a journalist. I went and got Journalism degree at Hartford U through so much hard work, yet - I was always happiest when I baked. So, not long after my stint at CNA Headline News in Atlanta,  I decided to go back to school at the Culinary College of America as well as  multiple classes at National Baking Institute in Missouri.

After culinary and baking school, I went on many jobs working as pastry chef in several restaurants and hotels. I worked my butt off and managed to screw up every relationship that came my way because I just couldn't focus on anything else but my passion for baking. For a long time, baking was my first love and priority.

In my free time, I composed a business plan for RoTea. It was everything that I have ever wanted - my own bakery slash a place for Afternoon Tea that's not in a five star hotel, but it would give a great ambiance, great food, fantastic tea, and more. I decided to call the place "RoTea," pronounced "rotee"or "roti." It was a play-on word as roti means bread in many languages of the world. It symbolized our commitment to bread and pastry baking. The "Tea" part, well...I think that's quite obvious.

I had to thank my venture capitalist, brother in law, Dean for believing in my vision, investing in it, and loaning me the money. I was afraid mixing business with family - as I never wanted anything to go sour between my brother in law and me. I didn't know what would happen, you know? However, I was the luckiest girl in the world because my brother in law was so rich he couldn't care less for the chump change he gave me. He just didn't want me to throw it down the drain and screw it all up.

Of course I wouldn't do such a thing because little did he know that making sure my concept would take off meant so much more to me than that money meant to him. I worked day and night to make RoTea what it is today. My mom and dad also worked their ass off in the beginning to help me. So did my sister, Sophie, though literally her husband owned the place. Lexi and Tony were my pillars too. They were there every step of the way for help, support, advertisements, and free publications in the tri-state area.  Gracie and Aidan were so cute too in gobbling the cupcakes every time they came visit their auntie Maggie's shop.

I was tired all the time; but I was at my happiest. After Lexi decided to quit her job at a public relations firm, she  started to run RoTea. She's a natural leader and such a perfect front of the house person. Her PR background definitely helps, and her finance second major also did not hurt for her to manage the business of RoTea while I'm away. She's actually at times, better than me in making financial decision about the business. My mom and I worked tandem for a long time as the creative force. My mom was my inspiration and I wouldn't have my talent in baking today if it wasn't for her. Granted she's only a home baker, she's the best I know. My mom's Chinese background mixed with my dad's Irish heritage made it possible for me to bake the best Irish/Chinese steamed soda bread! Go figure.

RoTea is a beautiful place. We actually have moved location to expand our facility due to our quick success. We stayed in the Greenwich Village area where we always are, but we secured a better and bigger facility. People asked if I would franchise this place. I shook my head. Not today. Not right now. I would never say never; but, I would want every single baked goods made in RoTea to have my hand touched it somehow. People didn't get it - I opened this place for me first, then for customers to enjoy. I didn't open this place just to make money.

Our decor is quaint and cozy, yet clean and modern. I wanted to capture that high society feeling of what Afternoon Tea is often associated with when you think of The Plaza Hotel or The Four Seasons, or the old English Aristocrats while you're at it. Yet, I didn't want anything old fashion and stuffy. So Sophie and I came up with an idea using new modern furniture that had been a little bit distressed - they looked like they've been used through time, but yet they're still here and they look complementing and most of all, timeless.

Our color scheme was mainly clean color with a little splash of black and white, and vibrant colors only in flowers. Sophie found several antique mirrors that had a slight brown stained on it, but yet they looked absolutely flawless in RoTea. No, our place did not look rustic, or antique. It looks timeless, clean, crisp, yet cozy. I love RoTea like my own child.

In the main dining area, we have many couches and love seats that are decorated with abundance of pillows.  A big hearth of a fireplace also adds that comfort people seek as they sip their tea. We also have private rooms for parties such as bridal and baby showers. We only have 2 rooms, so people do have to book way in advance for special private parties.

At first, I was worried that RoTea would be pegged as women's place. Yet, we have many male clienteles now from those people that stops for a pastry for breakfast in our bakery side, as well as cops looking for a muffin when they're tired of donuts from the Bodega. Plus, I didn't realize there's plenty of hoytie toytie men in New York city.

When RoTea took off, I got featured in many culinary magazines. Next thing I knew, I was competing in a reality television to be a host for a new TV programming for CULTure Channel. I didn't win it, but I came second. They gave me my own show anyway. I did much better than the winner, Jack Donnelly, as his show was recently canceled.

Life has not been the same since I got this TV gig. I've never thought that my passion for baking would lead me here. Though I am ecstatic with my TV show, my bakery, and everything else I have going on in life; I have never imagined my life to be this way - ALONE.

Have I sold my soul to the devil? But I am doing the one thing I absolutely love in life - baking. Yet, I know I have so much  more love in me. I could share my heart, soul, and love with other thing than just baking. I really really can.

Somehow however, I was the only one who believed it. Whit, my ex boyfriend that I was with on and off for years before I met Edward, knew that I had it in there somewhere. He stuck around for a long time, and left when he couldn't take it anymore. But he never deserted me and I think he will always be there for me. At times I wanted to believe that we should or could have been meant to be. They said true love always comes back no matter what the hurdles were. Yet, we never could keep it together, and we found ourselves trying to find other people whom we hoped would be better suited to be our better half, instead of each other.

Edward loved me. I knew he did. What happened between us, I really did not understand and I couldn't fathom. I did not know why after our whirlwind crazy intense romance, and friendship he chose to end it with such bad taste. That was the only thing that I couldn't understand. That was the only thing that hurt me the most. I could handle the fact he wasn't ready. I just couldn't handle the fact why he chose to be so mean about it and how he could move on so quickly after confessing his undying love to me. He didn't keep one word he said - he didn't even try to.

I knew after all kinds of failed attempts with Whit, when I met Edward, all I wanted to do was to be good to him. I made him my first, not the bakery, and not the TV show. But at the end, he still couldn't handle the fact that I have all these things I can call my successes, and he didn't believe that he could deserve me.

All I knew now all of it were lies. It was probably just excuses he told me to break up while at the end, the actual reason was his heart was so quick to move on to something easier and less pressured. I just wanted to live life and have fun with him. All of these things I contend with every day, it could be overwhelming, but they're my world and they're fun to me. He didn't even give it a sec to embrace it. He just was afraid being swallowed in the midst of it and had nothing to give.

When RoTea would close at 8 PM for most nights, I would sit in the main dining room, laying down in the couch as my staff cleaning up the mess from service. This has been my customary routine for the last 6 months since Edward left. I would look around, and get my eyes fixated on the fire. I just felt this titanic anger building inside me. I should have felt proud of all my accomplishments, but at times, I felt it was my burden to carry and I had to be all alone to do so. I would run my hand almost every night to massage my neck after service, and I would let out a sigh.

After all of these success, I still don't feel I am accomplished. I think of myself as a visionary - someone who can see the big picture and knows what to do to accomplish the goal. I see myself as a woman who doesn't give up, and doesn't give in. I work hard and so far I've tackled every dream I had and made it a reality.

How did I manage to lose the love of my life? It sounded so miniscule compared to everything else, but that moment when the thought of it crossed my mind, I felt like the tiniest person who didn't deserve to be loved. Where have I gone wrong. When I lived my own life and did not have much time for anyone, I would lose him (or, them). When I made the effort to give him the time he deserved, he left me still. Maybe it was just me, and not how I was/am. Maybe, it was beyond me and perhaps I am just not worthy to be loved.

RoTea was everything I have ever wanted. Yet, here I am. Maybe the grass is always greener elsewhere.